On The Airbands

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Neil Handsley of Melbourne overheard this true story from Hong Kong, involving a DC-10 on approach for Kai-Tak.

The Captain announced on the PA to his passengers that they were 170 miles from Hong Kong and their groundspeed 540mph. They would soon be commencing descent and would be on the ground in 35 minutes.

A quick bit of mental arithmetic by one passenger gave a different answer. He reasoned that 170 miles at 9 miles a minute was a bit under 20 minutes, not 35! Feeling ‘rather superior’, the plucky passenger sent a note written on a beer glass coaster, to this effect, drawing the Skipper’s attention to the ‘error’.

Back came the Aussie Captain’s reply, conveyed by a respectful hostess: “Thank you for your note, but I have to stick by my arithmetic. How would you like to land this baby at 540 miles per hour?”

Thanks again to Neil Handsley, who is an Airworthiness Surveyor with DofA in Melbourne.

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From ‘name withheld’ in Melbourne . . . A controller enquires of a Cherokee pilot:

“Cherokee Charlie Hotel Echo, what is your indicated airspeed?”

AIRCRAFT: “Stand by will you”

A few moments later . . .

AIRCRAFT: “Err, ah . . . It’s the one second from the left on the top row!”

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Just a bit of quick discussion on American 8-52 callsigns that have been monitored here and in airspace near to Australian shores. A couple of the more commonly used SAC 8-52 identifiers are ‘shot’ and ‘Freebird’. Examples are ‘shot two-one’ and ‘freebird zero-four’. Any readers with more are most welcome to write and add to the list.

A few more we know of . . . ‘camel’, ‘white ridge’, ‘bimbo’. Some of the better SAC channels on HF to monitor are as follows: 4495, 4725, 5700, 6761, 7330, 8101, 9027, 9057, 11220, 11243, 11408, 11494, 13211, 13241, 13907, 14955, 15035, 15041, 17975, 18594, 20631, 20890, 23337 and 27870. All frequencies in KHz, mode USB.

Naturally, B-52s are not only heard on SAC frequencies but can also be heard on civil frequencies when flying regular international air routes.

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Ted Moore of Sunbury was the F/O on a domestic DC-9 on descent into Melbourne some years ago, when Essendon was still being used as Tullamarine was not operational at that time. The weather rapidly deteriorated on this occasion and the approach controller suddenly had his hands full with a lot of aircraft requiring instrument approaches. The initial navaid for the Essendon ILS is the Plenty NOB, so the controller gave Ted’s DC-9 a radar vector to point the aircraft in that general direction, hoping that they would make their own intercept of the ILS so that he could quickly hand them off to the Tower and as such reduce the number of aircraft under his control.

The controller directed a question to Ted’s DC-9: “Tango Juliet tee-jet, are you getting Plenty?” Ted was about to reply when the Captain shook his head and said to Ted . . . “I’ve waited years for this!” He then transmitted the following to the stunned controller: “Our sex life is really none of your business sir, however, in regard to other matters, we have intercepted the localiser if you would like us to call the Tower!”

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Trevor Wright of Lesmurdie in Western Australia has just bought a Kenwood R-2000 receiver for HF listening and requires frequencies, modes etc. for Perth on HF international and domestic bands.

Domestic-wise, Perth is on South Western frequencies of 3461, 4684, 6565 and 8822. All frequencies in KHz, mode USB. International HF is two frequency families. That is SEA-3 and INO-1. SEA-3 consists of 3470, 6556, 11396, 13318 and 17907. INO-1 is made up of 3476, 5634, 8879, 13306 and 17961. Both stations are equipped with SELCAL facilities

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The final situational story of this issue concerns a British international airline, operating a Boeing 747 on approach to Sydney International Airport. The approach controller . . . he’s trying very, very hard to speak clearly . . . but making a mess of it and the other voice is a very pukka British Captain.

ATC: “Silverbird one three, descend-ah too five thousand. ” A/C: “Silverbird 13, confirm descend to two-five thousand. ” ATC: “I say again . . . descend-ah too five thousand. ”

A/C (starting to enjoy himself): “Understand descend to flight level two five zero, Silverbird 13. ”

ATC (getting flustered now): “Silverbird one three, I say again, descend-ah to five thousand. ”

A/C (now putting on his best ‘humouring-lunatics voice’): “Ah yes, got it now . . . descend to five thousand, confirm. ”

ATC (still hasn’t got the message): “Silverbird one three, that is correct, descend-ah too five thousand. ”

A/C: “Roger . . . Silverbird thirteen, five thousand! . . . it’s just that we’d have to go up again if you wanted two-five thousand!” From ATC . . . stony silence.

I’d very much like to thank Matthew Wilson, from Marrickville NSW for that contribution and we’ll definitely use more of your material in upcoming issues Matt.

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If you would like to contribute, write to me at 68 Ashby Ave, Yagoona 2199. Indicate whether a credit is desired when it goes to press. Airline names etc. are changed to protect those Involved. Hope to hear from you soon. Good! Monitoring!

(Explanation of terms used in this article: SAC – strategic air command. ILS – instrument landing system. F/O – first officer. FL230 – flight level 230 or 23,000ft. )