Tales

It seems that a guy had somehow gotten hold of a JATO unit (Jet Assisted Take Off — actually a solid fuel rocket) that used to be used to give heavy military transports and fighters an extra “push” for taking off from short airfields. He had driven his Chevy Impala out into the desert and found a long, straight stretch of road. Then he attached the JATO unit to his car, jumped in, got up some speed and fired off the JATO!

The facts as best as could be determined are that the operator of the 1967 Impala hit JATO ignition at a distance of approximately 4.8 km from the crash site. This was established by the prominent scorch and melted asphalt at that location. The JATO, if operating properly, would have reached maximum thrust within five seconds, causing the relatively lightweight Chevy to reach speeds well in excess of 500 km/h and continuing at full power for an additional 20 to 25 seconds.

The driver, soon to be pilot, most likely would have experienced G-forces usually reserved for dogfighting F/A-18 pilots, basically causing him to become insignificant for the remainder of the event. However, the automobile remained on the straight highway for about 4 km (15 to 20 seconds) before the driver applied and completely melted the brakes, blowing the tires and leaving thick rubber marks on the road surface, then becoming airborne for an additional 2.2 km and impacting the cliff face at a height of 38 m, leaving a blackened crater one metre deep in the rock!

Most of the driver’s remains were not recoverable.

Only goes to show … speeding never killed anybody — stopping did.

(Durnford Dart, Belli Park Qld)

Not At This Address

This story was told to me by one of the skeletons from GAF. (Skeletons were the staff who worked in the spare part area during the Christmas closedown.) An urgent telex came from a Nomad operator in PNG. They had bent their aircraft and needed parts immediately, (pilot error not another Nomad problem for you cynics). This type of request is called an AOG or Aircraft On Ground and parts generally were urgently dispatched same day via air freight as was this case. The next day a telex arrived wanting to know where the parts were. We did a bit of phoning around to the freight company and airline, to be told the parts had already arrived in PNG.

GAF Nomad

Not wanting to waste any more time, a new set of parts was dispatched duly stamped AOG. The next day still no sign of them. This was becoming annoying not only to us losing all these parts but also to the operator who had an aircraft on the ground not producing any income. It was decided to dispatch a third set and have a LAME accompany them. He could also help assemble the aircraft.

On arrival our LAME checked the cargo, and found all six crates present. He was told there would be about an hour’s delay in unloading, so he headed off for what he thought was a well deserved break. Sitting in the canteen drinking his coffee he noticed a truck loaded with his crates heading out of the terminal. Determined not to lose this lot he rushed out, grabbed a taxi, and set off in pursuit. Eventually he caught up with the truck, jumped out of the taxi and was about to have a go at the driver only to be confronted by a very confused minister from the Assembly of God church (AOG) wondering what he was to do with all these crates of aircraft parts marked AOG urgent that he’d received over the past few days!

(Perrian Robertson)

Look Out Below

During the latter stages of World War II, the RAAF operated a Pacific island airstrip which was frequently used as a refuelling stage by transport aircraft travelling to and from the US. Upon the arrival of any aircraft, the most popular spot on the airstrip was of course, the latrine block, which in accordance with normal service practice at the time, consisted of wooden seats over deep holes in the ground all surrounded by hessian screens.

To relieve their boredom in the weeks following the Japanese surrender, some RAAF ground personnel booby trapped the women’s latrine with strategically located speakers connected to a microphone equipped airman hidden in a nearby palm tree. Favourite victims were American nurses who, on landing, would make a bee line for the ‘ladies’.

Their expressions of wellbeing and relief however, would quickly change to horror when a voice would boom from down below – ‘Fair go miss, we’re still working down here’.

The practice was subsequently stopped to avoid injury after a number of nurses tripped during their hasty retreat from the latrine block!

(George Grotto, Erindale SA)

Mother Nature Is Boss!

Our aero club only had one aircraft, a Tiger Moth which was not fitted with brakes.

One day I suggested to my instructor that I not fly because of the windy conditions, but he said it would be good experience for me.

I had taxied about 50 metres, when a gust slewed the Tiger into wind and headed it towards a ditch. I had no control over the situation, other than to switch off and hold the stick back to increase the drag effect of the tail skid. My right foot was searching for a nonexistent brake pedal! It stopped one metre from the edge, with me sweating profusely in my flying suit. I wheeled the Tiger back intending to put it in the hangar, but my ever enthusiastic instructor offered to demonstrate the technique for taxying in a cross-down wind. The result? We had to switch off two metres from the spot I reached in my attempt!

He then decided that it was too windy for Tiger Moths that day.