Tales

The aircraft boarded approximately on time although there was some altercation about seating as seats are not normally allocated on Aeroflot domestic flights. The aircraft was a three engined Tupolev 154 of very uncertain age and less certain state of repair. There were many broken seats with backs that would not stay upright. Some seatbelts were broken, others totally absent. The carpets were either torn, unfixed or absent with bare aluminium in places. There had obviously been no attempt at internal maintenance for many a long day. We hoped there had been some mechanical maintenance. The room between the seats was so little that it was impossible to sit straight and, in my case, when the lady in front leaned back, she was sitting on my knee.

Apart from the incredible discomfort, the flight to Omsk was uneventful where we arrived about midnight and deplaned to the airport, in reality a very large two storey barn with chairs. After approximately two and half hours of complete silence, we were suddenly summoned back onto the aircraft. More passengers were packed on board, including one into the collapsing seat in front of me. This led to a memorable confrontation between my wife and the no-nonsense, do as you are told, Soviet style, very large hostess. After five tension packed and noisy minutes, the Commissar backed down and my wife won the day. There was a very audible gasp of admiration from the onlookers.

Without air ventilation and not a word of explanation from the crew, we were still on the ground three hours later at 6am. A group of German tourists became very angry and were threatening to force their way out of the aircraft. Their leader asked them very loudly, in German, if the Australians could sit quietly, why couldn’t they? The alarmed hostesses summoned a bus and ten minutes later about a dozen Germans had disembarked when, suddenly, the first announcement was made in four hours — we were about to takeoff. The Germans rapidly came back on board and we were airborne at last. Apparently, the delay was caused by fog at Irkutsk — but Aeroflot’s attitude is such that no one would even consider telling the passengers what the delay was.

Through all these hours there was no cabin service and no word of explanation for a delay that was obviously not of Aeroflot’s making — an example of the total lack of knowledge and understanding of public relations. The flight to Irkutsk was uneventful. The exit from the airfield was through a side gate and onto a bus, there apparently being no provision for passengers in the airport buildings.

(H Greenberg, Balmain)

Three Pointer Ssssssssssse

The older pilots among us can usually think back to foolish jaunts we attempted in our youth and somehow got away with. Not long after gaining his commercial licence, a friend of mine landed a job charter flying a tail dragging Cessna 185. After a while he got so that he thought he was pretty good at piloting it. Landings after a while became rather ho hum. He could plonk a neat three pointer or grease a smooth wheeler with equal aplomb.

Then he discovered that judicious use of the elevator and a masterful touch on the brakes would hold the aircraft level until it almost stopped rolling. At which point the tail could be allowed to gently settle as the aircraft drew to a stop. A final touch was to pull the mixture in the last moments of the roll so that as the engine stopped, the plane ground to a halt and the tail settled. Inspiring stuff! Just the sort of thing to impress a few passengers and ground observers on a flight to a landing strip at a remote mine site.

Unfortunately, this was where things sort of came unstuck. Things were going well, the plane slowed, the mixture was yanked and as the engine coughed its last gasps the aircraft gracefully nosed over. The masterful touch on the brakes was obviously a bit too masterful! However, as the nose went down the dying prop struck the dirt and the engine instantly stalled, leaving the plane perched on two mains and delicately poised on a prop blade.

How do you retrieve such a situation without loss of face? Well my mate calmly climbed out of the plane, helped his passengers alight, then strolled to the tail and pulled it down as if the whole thing had been deliberately staged for their benefit. No doubt a different scene as soon as he was alone! However, his careful inspection revealed no damage and the return flight was conducted without incident (or bravado).

(P Siggins, Ardross)

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Australian Aviation