Tales

On this particular flight, the bored soldiers noticed a crewmember climbing down from the flightdeck in a rather unusual fashion. He had two long pieces of string in his hands, which originated from the cockpit. Once among the passengers, the crewmember walked backwards towards the rear of the aircraft, in a rather careful sort of fashion. The crewman soon found that he had run out of string, and so he asked a soldier if he would please hold the strings while he went to the rear of the aircraft to answer a call of nature. At the same time telling him that he would be the person that was flying the aircraft for a few minutes and to hold the two strings very carefully.

The soldier wasn’t impressed, saying he should try that gag on the Marines. The crewmember, somehow managed to keep a straight face, and said in all seriousness that he would demonstrate to him and the rest of the amused passengers that this indeed was no joke and that they were a little short handed on the flightdeck tonight. A gentle pull on the left string, and the aircraft banked over nicely to the left. The passengers’ amused looks turned to gapes of horror as the big aircraft was brought back to the straight and level position. A pull to the right, and the aircraft banked over rather steeply to the right. With the aircraft now straight and level, the crewmember’s final words before departing for the loo was, “It’s all up to you son! Keep the tension on the strings and I’ll be back in a few minutes!”

The soldier was left standing like a statue, with other soldiers looking on a little too grim faced to say the least. Not quite to where he was heading, the crewman turned and yelled at the unsuspecting soldier some unknown words of encouragement. The soldier, wanting to make sure he heard him correctly, did a half turn on the spot, which caused the strings to send the aircraft into a steep bank. The soldier fought to regain control of the aircraft, while the other passengers screamed various forms of encouragement. The soldier, after his momentary loss of control, didn’t know how much height he’d lost, whether he was still on the right course or if he should grab a parachute and make a safer trip back to terra firma. Once the aircraft was straight and level again, the crewman continued his walk to the rear of the aircraft.

The crewmember finally made it to a private section of the aircraft, and burst into laughter. A few minutes later, after the crewmember had composed himself, he returned and carefully took the two strings off the now very pale faced soldier. With the same careful manner that he had made his way amongst the passengers, the crewmember now made his way back to the cockpit. Once inside the cockpit the whole flightdeck erupted into raucous laughter as they removed the ends of the string from the epaulets of the pilot. Need we suggest it, but it was a very quiet group of soldiers for the rest of the flight.

Delivering The Boss’s Macchi

One of the challenges in flying the Macchi was making the trip from east to west in winter against the prevailing westerlies and being forced to refuel at Woomera prior to setting off for the ‘short hop’ to Forrest. This leg was usually very tight against the jetstream and, if the weather conditions at Forrest were poor, the trip was very interesting indeed. Add to this being in cloud for the entire time in the cruise or complete cloud cover over the Nullarbor, and the trip became one of your more memorable aviation experiences.

The leg distance was just over 400 nautical miles (740km) but with a ground speed often reduced to barely 200 knots (370km/h) from the normal range cruise of 300 knots (556km/h) the leg would be at the maximum of the Macchi’s two hour endurance. With only a less than acceptable radio beacon at each end and a temperamental direction finder in the Macchi when flying in cloud with storms and ice, one relied heavily on the accuracy of the met man’s forecast winds and then prayed once past the point of no return and out of radio range.

This was the scenario I found myself in – 26,000 feet, in cloud, no sight of ground or water since leaving Woomera, only marginal radio navigation equipment and fast running out of options unless I managed to obtain an accurate groundspeed check. Hearing an Air Force C-130 Hercules give a position report to Adelaide control, I asked the Herc on frequency for a wind check, to which his reply was: “Alladin 247 – Stallion 10 – winds at flight level 240 and flight level 260 is 260 degrees at 85 knots”. An Ansett 737 piped up with the news: “Alladin 247 – Charlie Zulu Echo – the wind up here at FL310 is 280 degrees at 100 knots”. To which my reply was: “Thanks for the good news guys”. CZE sarcastically came back with: “Glad we could be of help”.

Being fully aware of the ‘legal’ navigation requirements, Adelaide control got on the airwaves with: “Alladin 247 – Adelaide control – Are you domestic DME equipped?”. “Alladin 247 – Ah – Negative!”. “Alladin 247 – Adelaide – Are you in cloud?”. “AH – Alladin 247 – Affirmative”. “AH – Roger Alladin 247 – best of luck!”. Full of encouragement those procedural control types. One point five hours and 400nm (740km) later, following a trip in total IMC, Forrest appeared through the 5000 foot overcast. Another testimony to heading and airspeed! (Incredible to think that all this is now a thing of the past thanks to something as simple as a $1500 hand held GPS, Ed).