On The Airbands

James Smith from Hornsby in NSW checks in to relate how UTA French Airlines were some years ago experiencing difficulties with their services between Noumea and Sydney, and subsequently wet leased (means ‘aircraft+ crew’) a Qantas 767 to fly one only return service. The following exchange occurred on Sydney Tower frequency 120. 5 as the controller requested the aircraft to vacate the runway.

TOWER: “UTA 533, Sydney Tower, notice you still have the bouncy Flying Kangaroo on your livery, I think maybe you should have a Frog painted on your tail!”

UTA 533 (QANTAS 767): “Oui!”

* * *

On the subject of Tower humour, Ben Matthes from Holden Hill in South Australia has told me about a particular day at Parafield Airport where our hero is an experienced pilot with many hours logged up on twins. He had decided to refamiliarise himself with the Seneca, not having flown one for a while. Our hero also just happened to have two cracked ribs as a result of a sporting accident that had happened a few days earlier.

As any Seneca flyer will attest, they are V-E-R-Y heavy aeroplanes to fly in the flare if they are not trimmed correctly on final. As our hero hasn’t been in a Seneca in a long, long time, he forgets to trim the aircraft . . . doesn’t he. So . . . during the flare, the stick gets heavier, heavier, and even H-E-A-V-I-E-R still! With a death like grip he grabs the column with both hands, simultaneously depressing his press-to-talk switch. With all the effort required, his cracked ribs are really hurting, and ourhero lets out: “Stuff it, this thing is bloody heavy!”

To which our ever vigilant boys in the Tower respond with . . . “Mike Charlie Kilo, say again all after . . . Stuff it, this thing is bloody heavy!”

* * *

For all the people who have written to me requesting details of the range capability of the Boeing 747-400s being operated by Qantas and United on the SYD/USA West Coast nonstop services, be advised that United was actually the first to use the -400 series on this route. The 7 47-400 has an all electronic flight deck and six foot wingtip extensions that improve fuel efficiency. The effective range of the airliner is 8,500 nautical miles carrying a full payload of 392 passengers and 30 LD3 cargo containers. United seating configuration is 36 First Class, 112 Business Class and 244 Economy. Flying time between SYD/ LAX nonstop is14 hours 55 (northbound). Once in theUSA, if you join United on domestic sectors, all passengers can now tune into a dedicated audio channel allowing them to hear conversations between the flight deck crew and ATC. This is one service many keen monitors would like to see introduced in Australia as it is illegal to use your handheld receiver while you’re travelling on board an airliner.

* * *

John Wilson from Darwin, NT enquires about London Volmet. No John, London does not have HF Volmet, but in fact has three Volmet VHF channels, namely Main, North and South. Main is broadcast on 135. 375, North on 126. 6, and South on 128. 6 MHz. John also wants to know what type of transmitters and antennas are in use by Auckland Radio on HF. Auckland’s transmitters are Aerocomms and they have 4 of them. They are the Aerocomm 1330 on 5 kilowatts in the USB mode. All antennas are Wide Band vertical monopoles, at a height of 25 metres. The same antennas are used for the Volmet broadcasts. Auckland Radio use R499 Redifon receivers.

* * *

In 1977, Geoff was in command of a Cessna 182RG, registered N736AC, 18 miles north of San Francisco, bound for Lake Tahoe, and unlike what happens here in Australia, he was allowed to climb to 13,000 feet (no flight levels in the USA below FL 180) without oxygen to clear the 10,000 feet Sierra Nevada

mountain range. Radio traffic was as depicted here: OAKLAND: “Six alpha charlie, report 8,000” N736AC (Geoff): “6 alpha charlie”

OAKLAND: “6 alpha charlie, Oakland Radio, you a limey?” N736AC: “Negative sir, Australian”

OAKLAND: “An Aussie! Well now! My daddy was in Brisbayne in the war!”

N736AC: ” Oakland Radio, N736AC, great to hear,come and visit us sometime!”

OAKLAND: “I will. Have a nice day”

(then 30 minutes later)

OAKLAND: “6 Alpha charlie, Oakland, you still at 8,000 on 047 degrees squawking 4368?”

N736AC: “Affirmative, SSR activated” (No SSR’s in Australian light aircraft before 1981 !)

OAKLAND: “Now boy, turn a mite quickly to 270 degrees, as this Bonanza coming up behind you is, if you don’t, going to wax your backside and spit you out his ass!”

(Can you imagine an Australian controller saying that?)

* * *

Mr G Shield from Mt Ommaney in Queensland has sent several great contributions to ‘On the Airbands’ and has been very patient waiting to see them used.

TOWER: “Do you have a transponder on board?” AIRCRAFT: “Negative Tower, I’m on my own up here!”

• • •

TOWER: ”. Alpha Bravo Charlie, would you prefer left or right

circuit?”

VH-ABC: ”. Affirmative Tower”.

TOWER: “Alpha Bravo Charlie, which one would you prefer?” VH-ABC: “I’d like a right circuit for a left base!”

• • •

Mooney aircraft lands Brisbane after marathon three hour flight from Bankstown Airport.

AIRCRAFT: “Whiskey Echo Tango is requesting taxi guidance to the nearest toilet please”.

• • • Solo student pilot downwind.

AIRCRAFT: “November Echo Yankee, downwind touch-and go”.

TOWER: “November Echo Yankee, clear touch-and-go!” AIRCRAFT: “Tower, is November Echo Yankee clear to land?” TOWER: “No . . . you requested touch-and-go!”

AIRCRAFT: “November Echo Yankee, going round!”

* * *

Wayne Langley, of Aspley, Brisbane, writes about the new Brisbane Airport, when VH-DXL called the Tower on 120. 5, the first aircraft to land on the new runway 14.

TOWER: “Delta Xray Lima,cleared to land, confirming you’re the first to land on 14, EVER!”

VH-DXL: “Confirm EVER”

TOWER: “That’s correct”

VH-DXL: “I’ll have to make sure I log this one mate!”

* * *

Another piece from Wayne.

TOWER: “Delta Juliett Tango, for info. , the new airport lights operated intermittently, say again, the light are being tested up

there, and you’re the last to land at the old airfield” VH-DJT: “Fair dinkum, do I get a prize?”

TOWER: “Vair, they have the fire tenders at 50 paces when you land”

• • •

NAVAJO CHIEFTAIN: “Tower, there are parrots eating near me on the runway!”

BANKSTOWN TOWER: (Very laid back) “Really”

NAVAJO: “Maybe the Safety Officer could pay them some attention. There’s a whole group of them. It looks like they’re eating and having a chat!”

TOWER: “Oh . . . no further explanations necessary. It’s obviously not parrots, they’re just management people from our Central Office having a meeting. ”

* * *

Sydney is to become the hub of airline company telecommunications in Southeast Asia with the International Society of Aeronautical Telecommunications (SITA) relocating to a new $200m Pacific headquarters in Sydney from the old HQ in Hong Kong. The organisation represents 387 airlines in 184 countries. The Sydney site, in downtown Kent Street, will become the 30th regional headquarters in a large network of 1,200 communications centres around the globe. Responsibilities for the Sydney staff of 70 personnel will be telecommunications, computer systems, software research and development, satellite communications, and aeronautical telecommunications networking.

* * *

A nifty little aircraft handheld receiver is the Air Pro II which is available through Skygear International in Sydney. The radio is not a scanning receiver. It is tunable with a side mounted tuning wheel, but the unique thing about this particular receiver is that you get a digital frequency readout, normally only seen in frequency-synthesised receivers such as scanners. It occurs to me that this radio could be an excellent way of entering the world of airband monitoring without breaking the budget!

The radio comes with tw0 separate antennas, one telescoping, and the other a rubber helical powered by six AA batteries. Once you’ve set the desired frequency, you can turn off the LCD display to extend your battery life. The radio tunes the following frequency ranges: 520 – 1650 KHz (broadcast), 88 – 108 MHz (FM broadcast), 118 -136 (AIR), and has American weather frequency 162. 5, not really that much use Down Under! The fact that the Weather feature won’t be used is not enough to detract from the good things going for this handheld portable receiver. Going price is $160 from Skygear. Ask for Mike Hollis. From a budget priced receiver to a Rolls Royce model, the new ICOM handheld portable model IC-RI covers ‘d. c. to daylight’ from 2 MHz to 905 MHz and is described as a ‘super wideband scanner’, capable of receiving in AM, narrow FM and wide FM mode. At $649 this 100 channel receiver covers all your airband HF, VHF and UHF bands, and is the be-all and end-all if you can only afford one radio. Available from Andrews Communications, NSW and Victoria. Phone them on (02) 349 5792 or (03) 720 5900! The only major negative factor: no BFO for sideband!

* * *

The folks at Adelaide ATC really care about their unseen audience out there. When the Antonov 124 was recently visiting Adelaide they even took the trouble to advise their scanner monitor friends on the latest departure time of the behemoth! Good work! And thanks to Leigh Bunting for alerting us to the situation.

* * *

Malcolm Oatley of Salisbury in SA owns a Realistic 2010 scanner radio and monitored America West before they departed Australia, during the dispute on Adelaide Control 127. 1. The air was hot with active thunder cells in the area.

N166AW: “Hey Control, Cactus 66 with you . . . have you got any weather down there?”

CONTROL: “Roger . . . weather outside, but not on radar”. N166AW: “Vair . . . well we have a lousy storm up front, can we divert to the left to avoid the activity?”

CONTROL: “Roger, divert as required . . . we don’t want any white caps in any coffee cups!”

The crew of N166AW (a Boeing 737) then sounded very confused, with perhaps only Malcolm Oatley and other side listeners appreciating the humour of this quick witted controller. The guy on the mike on N166AW seemed to completely miss the punchline. Them’s the breaks!

Ted Oram, Bradbury NSW reports in with information regarding a radio exchange at Bankstown Airport, NSW. A Tomahawk pilot knew where he was and was in the correct location, but he got the name wrong when he reported inbound. ATC was aware of this and very tactfully made him aware of his mistake. For those unfamiliar with Bankstown,Hoxton Park is not a reporting point inbound. VH-UAL: “Bankstown Tower, Tomahawk Uniform Alpha Lima Hoxton Park inbound at one thousand five hundred, received Foxtrot”. TOWER: “Uniform Alpha Lima Bankstown Tower, your transmission is broken, say again your position!” VH-UAL: “Uniform Alpha Lima . . . Hoxton Park”. TOWER: ” Uniform Alpha Lima (slowly) say again your position twice”. Short silence . . . then the lights came on shall we say . . . the penny dropped. VH-UAL: “Uniform Alpha Lima, inbound . . . 2FC”. TOWER: (sounding relieved) “Uniform Alpha Lima, report at Warwick Farm for a straight in approach”. Next transmission from the pilot of VH-UAL sounded like he was smiling. The particular air traffic controller involved in this situation at Bankstown has a very quick and good sense of humour, and much patience, particularly when dealing with the many newcomers to the wonderful world of aviation that abound at Bankstown airport.

* * *

From Mal Lloyd, Happy Valley, SA, some more of his quickies: FLIGHT SER VICE: “Alpha Bravo Charlie, last light Hay is 0825. Can you make Hay while the sun shines?” CHOPPER 123: “Adelaide, Chopper 123, what’s the name of the airstrip the other aircraft just before me just departed from?” ADELAIDE FIS: “Chopper 123, Adelaide, Snug Cove. ” CHOPPER 123: “Aw OK, in that case, Chopper 123 also departed Snug Cove, at 0709. ” • • • VH-SAM had been calling all stations on 6580 USB with no apparent success. Then Adelaide answered the aircraft, enquiring, “What unit are you trying to communicate with?” REPLY : “A Codan 2000. ” • • •

ALICE SPRINGS FIS: “Delta India Lima, last light Giles is 0850, what are your intentions?” VH-DIL: “Roger that, can you extend last light please?”

* * *

From James Smith of Gladesville, a report from Sydney Airport, where RW16 was being used for departures with a north

westerly blowing. Qantas 11, Sydney for Los Angeles via Papeete requests RW34 and receives clearance forthat runway.

Qantas 11 calls on International Apron frequency 122. 3 requesting start and pushback clearance. The following

exchange takes place, as the Controller mistakenly believes that a RW16 departure will be used. (For information, ‘taxiway foxtrot’

to be mentioned here is only a few hundred metres from the threshold of RW16, meaning it’s a “damned long way” from the

threshold of RW34!) SY DNEY RAMP: “Qantas 11, departure from taxiway foxtrot, or

full length available. Advise. ” QANTAS 11: “Qantas 11, request the full length, much much

much too short from taxiway foxtrot!”

* * *

James Smith also monitored VH-RMD being vectored for noise abatement on approach for RW34 after curfew on 124. 4. VH-RMD: “Approach, Romeo Mike Delta, are you vectoring us east of the coast or not?” APPROACH: “Romeo Mike Delta . . . affirmative. ” VH-RMD (cheekily): “Do you call this island under us east of the coast?” APPROACH: “Romeo Mike Delta, that’s Kurnell, it’s hardly an

island sir!” * * *

Written up by Bob Stevens in the excellent book ‘If You Read

Me, Rock the Tower’ available at many of the Hawker Pacific Skyshops around the country. “WHY I WANT TO BE A PILOT. “When I grow up I want to be a pilot because it’s a fun job and easy to do. That’s why there are so many pilots flying around these days. Pilots don’t need much school . . . they just have to learn to read numbers so they can read their instruments. I guess they should be able to read a road map too . . . pilots should be brave, so they won’t get scared if it’s foggy, and they can’t see, or if a wing or motor falls off . . . Pilots have to have good eyes to see through the clouds and they can’t be afraid of thunder or lightning because they are much closer to them than we are. “The salary pilots make is another thing I like. They make more money than they know what to do with. This is because most people think flying is dangerous, except pilots don’t because they know how easy it is. . . . “I hope I don’t get air sick because i get car sick. And if I get air sick I couldn’t be a pilot and then I would have to go to work. ” By Bob Stevens, a humorist-cartoonist specialising in aviation humour. If you see his book, invest in it!

* * *

Contribute to ‘On the Airbands’ by writing to me, Bob Bell, at Aerospace Publications, PO Box 3105, Weston Creek ACT 2611.

Good monitoring to you!