On The Airbands

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Time now to turn on the receivers, and get down to some serious monitoring!

Charles Davies is a First Officer with Australian Airlines, and he monitored the following conversation on a Townsville Control frequency one evening, some years back, while he was flying night freight. QANTAS 25: “Control, Qantas 25, are you busy?” TOWNSVILLE CTL: “Qantas 25, negative. ” QANTAS 25: “Could you ring Merle’s Restaurant in Townsville, and ask for Julie, and tell her Bill was just flying over, and says ‘hello’ to her. ” TOWNSVILLE CTL: “Qantas 25, standby. ” Several minutes later. TOWNSVILLE CTL: “Qantas 25, message passed. Julie says ‘hello’, and I have a telephone number for you to ring next time you’re in town, when you’re ready to copy. ” QANTAS 25: “Go ahead. ” TOWNSVILLE CTL: “The number is 871-2342. ”

QANTAS 25: “Qantas 25. . . err, thanks for that, and I trust you will destroy that number for me. ” TOWNSVILLE CTL: “Qantas 25 affirm. ”

UNKNOWN AIRCRAFT: “Yeah. . . he might destroy it, but I most certainly won’t, ha ha!”

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I was recently approached be the Secretary of the Board of Inquiry into the tragic Hornet accident at Palm Island, who told me the Board had run up against a brick wall with their investigations, due to no voice recordings being available of the last fifteen minutes or so of the RT communications from the aircraft, which was using HF at the time. The frequency in use was not an ATC or FIS channel on re-broadcast, but a RAAF ‘company’ UHF frequency. The Hornet and other jets were in the area of the range near Cordelia Rock and Rattlesnake Island. If you happened to be listening in to the practice involving this ill-fated aircraft on the night of the accident, late evening local time, and you recorded any of the RT crosstalk, either on tape or on paper, you may be of assistance to the RAAF Board of Inquiry. Contact the Secretary, Flight Lieutenant Howard Allen, on telephone (077) 81-2222, but only if you can genuinely assist them. The RAAF is to be congratulated for its very imaginative approach to obtaining relevant information by being fully prepared to go outside the bounds of their normal information-gathering procedures.

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Glenn Magann from Newcastle NSW was monitoring Sydney Control 130. 1, with 767 VH-RMG on a regular Sydney run, and

F28 VH-EWD on a flight to Coolangatta. Both the aircraft were northbound. A line of thunderstorms was causing numerous aircraft diversions. The following ‘high-level’ conversation took place:.

VH-EWD (at FL. 290): “Hey, that Ansett high-flyer up ahead, how high are those storms?”

VH-RMG (at FL410): “Ah. . . they’re· at 39,000 feet. ” VH-EWD: “I think I’m sorry I asked. ” A slight pause, then. . . UNKNOWN AIRCRAFT: “If God had wanted us to fly that high he’d have given us aUBoeings!” VH-RMG: “Sir! GOD MADE BOEINGS!”

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The following transmission was monitored by Tom Hamilton, and emanated from a United Airline 747SP departing Sydney. Tom lives at Richmond NSW. Frequency in use was 123. 0mhz. SYDNEY DEPARTURES: “United 816, can you make flight level two-five-zero by time four seven. ”

UNITED 816: “Shit no! United 816. ” (and another good one froin my friend Tom. . . . ) Scene: North coast NSW, and two 77 Squadron Mirages at 1,000ft, just off the coast at sunset, heading home to Billsville (RAAF slang for Williamtown). A dual-seater was in the lead, with a single seater trailing. Two RAAF slang terms you’ll need to fully appreciate this one: “THE LEANS”. . . . spatial disorientation “BUG OUT”. . . . climb to safe altitude and fly on instruments until all OK. Virtually no radio chatter, until. . . DESPOT BLUE: “Despot Amber, Despot Blue, take the lead will you, I’ve got a good case of the leans. ” DESPOT AMBER: “Err. . . negative Despot Blue, I’ve got ’em too, quite bad, and I’ve actually been flying off you for the past five minutes. Guess we’d both better bug out. ”

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An anonymous contributor, who is a First Officer with one of Queensland’s regional airlines related the time his aircraft was is cruise, bound for Brisbane, when the following RT traffic was broadcast on a Brisbane Control frequency. Our FO contributor and his Captain were very amused.

The Captain of an airliner bound for Hamilton Island had got his comms and PA switches confused and came forth on the radio with a wonderfully descriptive narrative about his 737’s progress, with airspeed, groundspeed, outside air temp, tracking details, his ETA, all rattled off in a splendid ”this is your Captain speaking” monologue, delivered with enthusiastic zest and suitable confident authority. Not even realising he’d been on his radio and not the public address through to the cabin. An unknown aircraft flightdeck crew member then said: “Thank you very much Captain for that most excellent and informative narration. But what does the little red button do?” (We can only imagine the 737 skipper felt about one centimetre tall!) From an anonymous reader, overheard on a public address system at Williamtown where an Airshow was in progress, some years ago. A female announcer was on the mike: ANNOUNCER: “Mr Phillips, your son says he will meet you behind the C-130 (pause) and the C-130, Mr Phillips, is the large grey and white aeroplane with a wing on top and four engines!”

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Monitored by your columnist during the ‘wee small hours’ of the morning. Flight Service Officer of Sydney Kathy Thompson was working “STRIKER 980, an Orion, about 2. 25am one week day. with the Orion bound for Nowra from Edinburgh. Apparently the pilot had called Nowra Tower on 267. 2, 118. 3, and also on 243. 0, with no reply, when about fifteen miles out on long finals.

No one had answered. So he dialled up 124. 6 on his VHF comms set and called Sydney, more than a little peeved. He explained to duty FSO Kathy that he had made prior arrangements regarding an early hours landing with Nowra, who had assured him the Tower would be manned. Obviously, it wasn’t and he wanted phone calls made to have the Tower brought to life and the runway lights turned on! Striker 960 was all this time holding on the 160 degree radial Nowra, ICM. Our poor FSO Miss Thompson (who has a terrific voice by the way!) remained very cool, calm and professional throughout the somewhat trying exchange. Finally, after numerous phone calls to some very sleepy persons, she returned to the microphone: SYDNEY: “Striker nine-six-zero, a Tower Controller won’t be there until time one-seven-zero-zero, Jam local. ” STRIKER 960: “Have they heard of aeroplanes running short on fuel; they may be there at 1700, but we won’t! Is Romeo 473 or 471 active?” SYDNEY: “Negative Sir. ” (concerning Military Restricted Areas) STRIKER 960: “Well can they at least turn the lights on for us?” SYDNEY: “We’ll try and get the lights on, while you’re holding, but as I said, they say no one will be manning the Tower until time 1700 Zulu. ” STRIKER 960: “1 wish they’d wake up. . . literally!” (A happy ending to this story. Much earlier than 1700, actually about 1643, the Nowra Tower came to life and “Striker 960′ was invited to call them on 118. 3)

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Phillip Ashton of Ryde, NSW advises that about midday local time in Sydney, one Saturday, he heard Hornets Maple Hawkeye 1, 2 and 3′ tracking indian file at fight level 290, northbound, and when nearing Tamworth Control Zone, all in turn called Sydney Control on 131. 3/118. 5 requesting descent to 250ft AGL and ‘no-comms’ for a low-jet-route high speed flight. Present time when “Maple Hawkeye 3′ called up was 0113 Zulu. When quizzed about his ‘no-comms’ by the American controller at Sydney ATC, ‘Maple Hawkeye 3’ gave “0652”, very obviously an incorrect figure. It just didn’t make sense. The following conversation then began: SYDNEY CONTROL (AMERICAN): “Maple Hawkeye 3, check your descent and no-comms time will you. Time is now 0113. You gave descent and no-comms estimate of 0652. ” MAPLE HAWKEYE 3: “Uh. . . standby. ” UNKNOWN AIRCRAFT: “Are they F-18’s?” SYDNEY CONTROL: “Yeah. ” UNKNOWN AIRCRAFT: “I think he’s gone away to re-stack his blocks!”

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Many thanks to Stephen Allsop of Springvale South, Victoria- Rex Whitehead of Mt. isa, Queensland-Mr SG Hudson of Safis- bury, South Australia Craig Gardiner of Forresters Beach, NSW-SR Bott of Port Pirie, South Australia and Rohan Gamett, of Longueville, NSW for their interesting letters. I have answered your questions by return mall.

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Colin Jeffrey from Derby, WA mentions the ‘Flight Service Monitor, an unofficial publication written by Flight Service Officers for Flight Service Officers. He recently saw some rather ancient copies, the pages of which contained some very funny stories from the airwaves, like this one circa 1975, during flood relief operations (NSW): FIRST AIRCRAFT: “Do you know where you are Jack?” SECOND AIRCRAFT: “No, but I haven’t crossed enough water to be outside Australia yet!” From the same source, another good story.

VH-WWH and VH-WWL, two floatplanes, with a conversation monitored on 125. 8 MHz.

VH-WWL: “Whiskey Whiskey Hotel, this is Whiskey Whiskey Lima, OK, we have you visual. ” VH-WWH: “We also have you visual, and you sure are ugly!” And again, this time circa 1978: VH-MTR: “Melbourne, this is Mike Tango Romeo, departed Moorabbin 2028, six POB. ” (persons on board).

MELBOURNE: “Mike Tango Romeo, this is Melbourne. Moorabbin Briefing advise that you have left one of your passengers behind. ” VH-MTA: “Melbourne, this is Mike Tango Romeo, roger, POB five!” A final ‘Flight Service Monitor” story from 1980: SYDNEY: “Alpha Bravo Charlie, this is Sydney. ” VH-ABC: “Go ahead Sydney. ” SYDNEY: “Alpha Bravo Charlie, do you wish to extend you Sartime?” VH-ABC: “Err. . . Sydney, uh, I thought I had Sartime for 0730. I’ve come from Adelaide. . . ahh. . . better make it 0839 thanks. ” UNKNOWN AIRCRAFT: “Lucky you weren’t from Queensland, it would have been for January!”

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Bob Ward, Chief Pilot to the QTQ Channel g helicopter sent in another quickie concerning Brisbane’s very bright female military airspace air traffic controller. A media helicopter was inbound through Amberley Control Zone, returning to its base at Mount Cootha Female ATC: “Hotel Tango Victor, leaving control area, call Bris- bane 125. 7, cheerio. ” Media Chopper: “Hotel Tango Victor, cheers and for information, there’s a loud hum behind your transmission. ” Female ATC: “That’s me singing!”

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Alfred Stella of Pascoe Vale, Vic. overheard Hornets being tested callsign Peregrine 632 (see earlier in this column) on Melbourne Control frequency 123. 6, when the jets were in the Mansfield area, near Elden Weir, tracking for Avalon, which is to the west of Melbourne.

Peregrine 632: “Ah Control, Peregrine 632, my Tacan is unserviceable, could you give us a position fix please. ” Melbourne CTL:”Roger Peregrine 632, you’re five miles south of Mansfield, with seven-zero miles to run to Laverton. ” Brief pause, then. . .

Melbourne CTL: “Peregrine 632, what other Navaids are you equipped with?” Peregrine 632: “None others except the Mark-one EYEBALL” (perhaps this is a new, possibly super-secret auxiliary Navaid, which could be said to be ‘pilot integrated) Till next issue, keep monitoring, and contributing. Write to Bob  Bell, 68 Ashby Avenue, Yagoona 2199.