On the Airbands

First reader letter concerns a Citation executive jet crew, conversing with Sydney control. The conversation went like this: CONTROL: Juliett Echo Tango, are you GNS or LNS equipped? EXEC JET: We’re flight management system equipped! CONTROL: Huh?

EXEC JET: That’s GNS equipped, INS equipped, DME equipped . . . should I go on?

CONTROL: No, thanks very much!

(OTHER UNKNOWN VOICE): Vair . . . but you can still get lost Laurie!

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It was a Thursday, 0010 hours zulu and an Asian airliner visiting Sydney Airport called on SMCA frequency of 122. 3 fifteen minutes before scheduled departure. “Ah . . . Sidley Groun . . . can we have rahway one-six?” The SMCA controller correctly enquired if the aircraft had called on ‘airways clearance’ frequency of 127. 5, only to have the original question directed to her again . . . “Ah, we have Rahway one-six?” The poor girl was starting to display outward signs of exasperation as the Asian crewman directed his runway request to her for the fifth time and still neglected to answer the question that had been put to him. Realising that she would have more luck learning to speak in his native tongue first, she stated . . . “yes, you can expect a runway one-six departure, call again this frequency for engine start and pushback!” (Trying to do the right thing and assist when he obviously was having difficulty understanding. )

More difficult than we realised, for exactly on the half hour, his scheduled departure time, the Asian announced he was pushing back and did! (Perhaps the tractor driver had his radio turned low and accepted the word of the crew that they had permission). Following that, a further series of taxi misunderstandings ensued both on 122. 3 and on Sydney Ground frequency of 121. 7. “Ah . . . wee wan rahway one-six!” As works were in progress at the threshold of runway 16, the ground controller intended to divert the taxiing aircraft right onto taxiway ‘foxtrot’, have it cross RW 16 and then turn left at the first taxiway and follow that to the displaced threshold on the opposite side of the runway.

When the Asian guy heard ‘foxtrot’, he thought the controller was asking him to start his takeoff roll from there and quickly screamed . . . “No no. Too heavy . . too heavy. ” Eventually, the aircraft turned onto the runway, cleared only to lineup and commenced its takeoff roll! I can imagine the ashen faces in the Tower, who obviously took stock, saw no other traffic to infringe and decided to let this lethal guy go A domestic 727 skipper then called Sydney Ground as the 747 became airborne. “Sydney Ground, Romeo Papa Tango, is it safe for me to come out on the taxiway yet?”

Thanks to both contributors, who prefer to remain anonymous!

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Terry Hall of Tullamarine Victoria relates an incident that occurred on a recent Sunday morning when Melbourne International was closed to all arriving aircraft due to fog. As a result, three jetliners were holding at Bolinda, north of the airport. Two were domestics, a 737 and a 727 and the other a 747 belonging to an Australian international airline.

The 727 crew advised that they had called Essendon Tower for conditions there and had been advised that they could make an approach to Essendon and land there if they wished. They decided to go and requested permission to track to Essendon, which was granted. The 737 crew were then asked by Melbourne control if they also would like to land at Essendon. The 737 crewmembers deliberated, put eventually decided to hold at Bolinda a while longer.

Then a voice broke in (obviously the 7 4 7 also holding) and said . . . “Ah, Melbourne . . . ah Australian 27 Papa, if we changed our name to something oriental, could we land at Essendon also? It was a definite dig at an overseas airline whose crew recently mistook Essendon for Melbourne International and tried to line their 747 up for final approach! The final word on the situation came from the Melbourne Controller . . . “Not nice!”

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John Rodger of Kirwan, Townsville QLD had this story related to him by an Operations Officer for Britannia Airways in Luton, England, in April this year. The Operations man had earlier been employed as a Senior Flight Steward with Britannia.

In his flight Steward days, he had been on the flight-deck of a B737 when this radio transmission came over the speakers: Scene: Britannia charter Munich to Luton, a Boeing 737. It reaches its cruising flight level and is given this advice by German ATC.

CONTROL: “. . . . be advised that a Caledonian BAC-111 is 8 miles behind, en route Bulgaria to Gatwick, and also you can be on the lookout for two Luftwaffe F-104 fighters, crossing left to right. Please report the sighting and passing behind the crossing fighter aircraft. ”

Suddenly, across the ether came the familiar World War II fighting words. . . . . “T-A-L-L-Y—–H-O!”(Both Britannia and British Caledonian then in turn pleaded innocent to all charges!)

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Your writer heard an international flight calling Honolulu Radio on frequency 5643 Khz one evening at 1240 zulu, to which Honolulu replied and then asked was the aircraft inbound to Honolulu, or on the ground at Honolulu. The HNL radio-op was clearly set down on his posterior when the 747 crewman informed him he was ‘on the ground Sydney’. Nice one!

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Heard the British Airways Concorde reporting at FL 530 climbing FL 600 en route to Auckland on its recent trip there. Did you hear it? Mind-boggling stuff. ATC staff enquired through the FIS operator what the ground speed was, to be given ‘1220 knots in the climb’ by the crewman. The aircraft, callsign ‘Speedbird 9060-Charlie Concorde’ was monitored by me at 41. 18 S and 163 E, not following conventional reporting points, due to its track from the Southern Ocean and Bass Strait area to AKL destination. Doesn’t it make you just go soft at the knees? Sydney Radio requested the crew to report every 30 minutes, but as you can imagine, that situation didn’t last long!

Any contributions for ‘On the Airbands’ can be sent direct to: Robert Bell, 68 Ashby Avenue, Yagoona 2199. Hope to hear from you soon. Till next time, good monitoring.