On the Airbands

A domestic frequency change in Australia occurred on HF as of May 8, 1986. 2944 Khz, used in the Southeastern region will change to 2896, due to interference being experienced in the Mildura area from a commercial AM radio station. The station’s management has been able to convince the Dept of Communications that their emissions are within tolerance and as such the DolA has been forced to make the move to 2966 Khz.

A First Officer from Qantas Airways, who by choice shall remain nameless, writes with some very interesting and amusing overseas situations that have occurred and have been monitored by himself on 747 flight. Dateline: A busy Heathrow Airport and the ‘star’ of our story is a heavy jet airliner of US registration, requesting taxi clearance. TWR: “Yankee-two-one, clear to taxi, follow the 737 onto the outer taxiway for runway ten-right. ” A/C: “Roger, we’ll follow the tin-mouse for ten right!” 737: (A European operator) “Vee are not a tin-mouse, vee are an American-made Boeing 7377” (The crew are obviously a bit milled!) First A/C: “Er. . . Roger, we’ll follow the American-made Boeing 737 tin-mouse. ” (Relative calm follows, with only occasional sniggering while the two aircraft taxi nose-to-tail for the runway. However, outright laughter ensues as the Tower has the last word. . . ) TWR: “Germanic 737. . . Squeak 3-5-0-4, clear for takeof!!”

This one from New Guinea, provided by our Qantas F/O, who advises that the situation occurred many years ago.

The morning mists are finally clearing from the Highlands and aircraft are busy doing their runups and calling in to the Flight Service Unit (FSU) with their details. However, a very proper executive aircraft pilot is already on the airwaves from an outlying strip, not only filing a lengthy flight-plan but requesting TAFE information, en route winds, notes and who knows what else. . . on and on ‘it’ goes! Finally, a laconic Australian voice breaks in: “Yer three minutes are up. . . are you extending?”

The following item is submitted by Russell Bryant, Lakemba NSW: A light aircraft is transiting a busy US Control Zone. As many readers will appreciate, US terminology is somewhat different to that found here.

APPROACH: “November eight-six Charlie, say altitude. ” A/C: “Altitude?” (obviously in a frivolous mood) APPROACH: “November eight-six charlie, say altitude. ” A/C: “Altitude?” APPROACH: “Uh huh. . . November eight-six charlie, now say ‘Cancel IFR!-

Dateline: Bahrain Centre airspace and it’s a typical busy night on Airway “RED-19″ from Bahrain westbound to Europe. With Iran airspace closed due to the ongoing war there is a large restricted area between FL260 and FL330 overlying the Airway over northern Saudi Arabia, where AWACS aircraft continually patrol, monitoring the oilfields. A European operator is westbound from Bombay to Zurich. The following verbatim exchange occurs: A/C: (THICK TEUTONIC ACCENT) Bahrain Centre, good morning. European 999, flight level 310 and requesting higher. ” CENTRE: “European 999, Bahrain Centre, good morning, flight level 350 is occupied, can you accept flight level 390?” A/C: Tm sorry Sir, we’re too heavy for FL390r CENTRE: “Roger European 999, descend now to flight level 260. ” A/C: “C-Almighty, we have a fuel penalty already and now you want us to descend FL260?” CENTRE: “I’m sorry European, it’s a bad area around here for altitude blockages, descend now to FL260.

UNKNOWN A/C: “. . . and it’s not such a good area around here for J. C. either!”

Oh. . . the impact cricket has on us! (Even while flying an F-111 doing “touch-and-go’s. . . ) AMBERLEY TOWER: “Macho 891, radar departure, turn right heading 3-1-zero, climb to 2-5-zero-zero, clear for takeoff!” F-111C: “Macho 891, cleared, climbing to 2500. ” APPROACH: “Macho 891, identified. . . call final. ” APPROACH: “GCA. . . Macho 891, 10 milles. ” F-111C: “Arr. . . haven’t got an update on the cricket have ya?” APPROACH: “Standby. . . one coming through. ” APPROACH: “West Indies 3 for 77!” F-111C: “Roger and how many overs?” APPROACH: “19” F-111C: “Very, very good!” (said with the enthusiasm of a typical Aussie!) APPROACH: “Macho 891. . . five miles . . . call the Tower!” (Thanks to Stewart Murphy, now of Armidale for our cricket summary)

Shane Power of Greenwood, in Perth WA delivers our final anecdote this issue. The incident involves an F28 which has just landed on Runway 21 at Perth, taxying behind a 747 that was due to depart.

F28: “Is that you Jimbo?” 747: “Yeah. . . hi Monty!” F28: “Dinner on Friday night fixed up with you two?” 747: “Sure. . . no problems. . . see you then?” F28: “Okay Jimbo. . . safe flight. ” (a few seconds of silence was heard to follow. . . ) then, F28: “Oh. . . what a B-I-G red tail!” 747: (different voice) “All the better to T-H-U-M-P you with my dear! F28: “We’re gone!”

If you would like to contribute to ‘On the Airbands’, you are most welcome. Write to me directly. . . Robert Bell, 68 Ashby Avenue, Yagoona 2199.