On The Airbands

Speaking of individuality, we have heard a colourful DC-10- now 874 7 skipper from an international airline based just east of Australia, who just loves adding the letter ‘ER’ to his radioed positions. ‘Transpacific 5-zero-6-ER, we’re by Gurno at freight-E:R; flight level 3-7-zero-ER, Padpa at zero-7-ER. Transpacific 5-zero-6-ER’. Fun stuff! Bet his workpals display a quiet smile on the flight deck. I say QUIET, because listening to this guy over some years, I tend to suspect that he’s the one with the bulk of the gold braid on his jacket sleeves!

HF monitors may be fascinated to learn that ANCHORAGE RADIO, Alaska, has disappeared from the NP-3 and NP-4 frequency families of 2932, 5628, 10048, 13294, 13300, and 17904. TOKYO and HONOLULU are stations now heard on this net, with HONOLULU getting ANCHORAGE’s HF responsibilities. Anchorage now has only extended-range VHF links with aircraft spanning the northern Pacific, with repeaters located vast distances out on the ALEUTIAN ISLANDS group. Anchorage’s radar coverage has been extended also to 300 nautical miles. Our thanks to D. F. Ryan, a pilot and a listener, of Earlwood NSW, for jogging the memory about this significant change to NP-3, NP-4 network. For any person interested, Anchorage’s extended range VHF frequency repeats on 128. 2 Mhz,

Scene: NSW REGION, ATC, Dept of Aviation, Transcontinental northwest sector.

Frequency: 128. 2 Mhz.

Time: Early one Friday morning. . .

Controller: ‘Silverbird 1-4, your cruising Mach-number please?’

Silverbird: ‘And could I have your estimate for Bindook?’

Silverbird 14: (lmmediately. . . No caiculation time taken. . . ) ‘Twoone-two-six’ (in a cultured British accent) and (pause) then. . . ‘Pretty snappy ay!’

Thanks to Ron Smallwood of Coburg Victoria, who apparently heard this while visiting NSW.

A letter from a young lady who held her young daughter in her arms, standing in the ‘Gallery’ park (named by Sydney ATC staff), adjacent to Sydney Tower, along General Holmes Drive. The lady was watching relatives depart in a heavy jet on a Katoomba-1 departure on Runway 16. Basically, ‘Katoomba-1′ involves runway heading, then at 800ft turn right and intercept 163 SY VOR. At 3000ft, turn left and track direct to SY VOR. Which in layman’s terms is after takeoff, runway heading, right turn, then a gradual left turn to do. a complete 180 degree turn back over the airport.

Our correspondent tells me that as the aircraft completed its 180 degree turn, the little girl cradled in her arms watching said. . : Mummy, what’s wrong, has Auntie Rhonda forgotten something?’

Thank you to Mrs Gruber of Dee Why NSW.

After a long night flight, an Australian international airline skipper was aboard his aircraft, waiting on the ramp for a parking bay after landing. A slow-moving 7 4 7 crew from a Mediterranean country were the cause of the Aussie’s rising blood pressure. They were in HIS allocated parking bay. Why weren’t THEY gone? Why was HE being made to wait? Finally, after countless little setbacks to the overseas 747’s departure, culminating in a 25-minute wait just off the taxiway for the Aussie 747, the Skipper could stand it no more, and let fly over the radio with. . . ‘Well Mario, are you going to move, or aren’t you?’

Thanks to John Vogel.

MORE AIRWAYS HUMOUR. . . Contro/: ‘. . . you’re five miles south of Walgett and diverging!’

RPT domestic 727: ‘Yair. . . Well if you’ve ever been to Walgett, you’d know why we’re giving it a wide berth!’ Thank you D. Thompson, Tamworth NSW.

Peter Jervis of Earlwood NSW writes to say that he was monitoring Concorde, which visited Sydney earlier this year. Numerous helicopters were in position on either side of Sydney Harbour to gain a good view of the supersonic airliner flying do:,vn-harbour towards the·Sydney Harbour Bridge. A sample of the channel chatter on 123. 0 follows:

Sydney Departures: ‘Helicopter HOTEL-ECHO-LIMA, be advised, accompanying traffic at 1-5-zero-zero is CONCORDE!’ VH-HEL: ‘We have Concorde visual’

(Unidentified): ‘. . . just look at that POMMIE technology go!

(Someone else): ‘We can roger that. . . ‘

If you Wish to contribute to ‘ON THE AIRBANDS’, write to me at 68 Ashby Avenue, Yagoona NSW 2199. As far as possible (you can’t do much with Concorde!) all airline names etc. will be replaced for anonymity. You should indicate if you desire a credit for supplying the story. Some stories will be slightly altered to make them suitable for publication in AUSTRALIAN AVIATION.

And now a story from Godfrey Wenness, of Grose Vale NSW. Richmond Tower: 257. 3 UHF military band, 135. 5 VHF civil airband

Aircraft: ‘Richmond Tower, EMU 9-9-9 for landing, grass, runway 18’

Tower: ‘EMU 9-9-9, clear to land, no circuit traffic, check wheels’ EMU 999: ‘Richmond Tower, EMU 9-9-9, we have no wheels! Tower: (very seriously) ‘EMU 9-9-9, would you like to declare

PAN?’

EMU 999: ‘Negative!’

Tower: ‘Confirm you have no wheels’ EMU 999: ‘Affirmative miss!’ Tower: ‘Why not?’

EMU 999: ‘Richmond Tower, EMU 9-9-9, this machine never has had and I believe never will have wheels unless it somehow grows them miss. You see . . . we’re ah IROQUOIS helicopter!’ Tower: (dejected) ‘Ohh. . . sorry. . . ah, clear to land’

EMU 999: ‘W-O-M-E-N!’

To conclude this issue, this priceless offering from Colin McKenny, ex-DC-3 Skipper, circa 1947!

An American Service aircraft was bound Melbourne for Sydney, and was asked to report at Marulen (pronounced Maroolen), in southern NSW.

The position report was duly given by the yank:

‘Ahh. . . err. . . Sydney, this is. . . Uncle Sam 2-6-7-8-2, and er. . . l’m right on top of Marilyn right now!

CAME THE IMMEDIATE REPLY FROM ANOTHER AIRCRAFT: ‘Half your luck mate!’

Till next issue, good listening, and we’d like to hear from more interstate contributors.