Tales

The strike was led by four Canberra bombers, immediately followed by cannon and rocket strikes from two Hawker Hunters. Synchronised to follow shortly after were four Alouette Iii helicopter gunships. As the Canberras initiated the attack, two additional Hawker Hunters were positioned over Lusaka airport and a further two were assigned sentry duty over Mumbwa, the Zambian Air Force base. Lusaka was in direct contact with the Zambian Air Force.

Knowing that there were two Hunters in position over Lusaka Airport and two more circling Mumbwa, ready to take up any challenge the Zambian Air Force might make to them, the Squadron Leader commanding the Canberras called up Lusaka International Airport.

Lusaka Tower, This Is Green Leader.

“Uh .. Green .. this is tower,” came a puzzled but otherwise unworried reply after a short pause.

Lusaka Tower, This Is Green Leader. This Is A Message For The Station Commander At Mumbwa From The Rhodesian Air Force. We Are Attacking The Terrorist Base At Westland’s Farm At This Time. This Attack Is Against Rhodesian Dissidents And Not Against Zambia Or Her Security Forces. We Therefore Ask You Not To Intervene Or Oppose Our Attack. However, We Are Orbiting Your Airfield At This Time And Are Under Orders To Shoot Down Any Zambian Air Force Aircraft Which Does Not Comply With This Request And Attempts To Take Off. Did You Copy All That?

“Yes, copied Sir” replied Lusaka Tower.

Roger .. Cheers, Said A Friendly Green Leader.

Various courteous exchanges took place after this while the attack on nearby Westland’s farm was completed. A Rhodesian Air Force Command Dakota then took over the direction of Zambian airspace from Green Leader, who then moved out. Meanwhile, the pilot of a Kenya Airlines jet, now considerably delayed in receiving a landing clearance, irritably radioed Lusaka Tower demanding why. “Who is in control here anyway?”.

“Well..” said the African controller at Lusaka, with dry humour, “I think at the moment the Rhodesians are…” (Norman Surgeon, Roleystone, 6111)

Icescapades

Many years ago as a flight attendant with a domestic airline, it was the practice to play tricks on newly graduated and totally unsuspecting cabin crew. One such event occurred on a Melbourne/Canberra/Melbourne service involving an overnight stay in Canberra. The aircraft used at the time was the Fokker F27 Friendship.

The day began with crew arriving at the airport at 5.30am with the temperature at minus 4 degrees. A very heavy frost had caused the top surface of the wings to ice up. The new hostie was then told that her job would be to scrape the ice off the wings as we all know that aircraft can’t fly iced up. She was given the appropriate instrument with which to do this and the ground staff, being duly informed of the joke, obliged by placing a set of steps for the hostie to reach the wing. She genuinely believed this had to be done and it wasn’t until she was about to make the first scrape that the first officer told her that her services were not required! Fortunately, she accepted the joke and had a good laugh at her innocence, and continued with her real duties. (Linda Bee, Babakin, 6428)

Hot Assed Pilot

Some years ago, the Canadian Armed Forces (Caf) decided to pay off its fleet of Cf-104 Starfighters. Under the Military Assistance Programme, they were to be purchased by Turkey. The first group of Turkish pilots arrived for conversion training in Canada, armed with rudimentary English language skills. Although this proved to be chafing at times, it was generally sufficient for training and Air Traffic Control purposes.

One fine sunny day at the Caf base, there were several Turkish manned Cf-104s in the circuit area practicing their skills, when a call was received by the Tower:

“Ground — Turkey Starfighter 221, request taxi please.”

“Turkish Starfighter 221, Ground, clear taxi Rwy 21, time 43.”

“Ground, Turkey Starfighter 221, roger taxi, thank you, Rwy 21.”

As the aircraft began a sedate roll to the threshold, the controller noticed more than usual smoke emanating from the aircraft’s tailpipe.

“Turkish Starfighter 221, Ground, you appear to have smoke coming from you tail section. Please check and confirm operations normal.”

No reply. As the aircraft continued its journey, more smoke was appearing.

“Turkish Starfighter 221, Ground, you have large amounts of smoke coming from your tail section.”

Still no response — and now flames could be seen popping out the tail.

Turkish Starfighter 221, 221, Alert ~ Your Aircraft Is On Fire.

The pilot continued to taxi, unaware of his impending doom, and much to the concern of the now panicking controller who was activating the crash alarm. As the Starfighter continued to taxi past the control tower, smoke and flame continued to increase! The controller now switched to Guard, the frequency that would reach all aircraft.

Turkish Starfighter Passing Control Tower, You Are On Fire — Repeat — On Fire. Get Out! Get Out!

To the relief of the controller, Starfighter 221 promptly braked, the canopy was jettisoned, followed by the pilot swiftly climbing out of the now blazing aircraft. But his relief was short-lived as one of the Starfighters in the circuit popped its own canopy, and the pilot ejected – leaving a perfectly serviceable aircraft to plunge into the nearby countryside. The pilot was on downwind adjacent the Tower, had heard the Guard call and ejected without checking! (E Burton, Sydney, 2000)