On The Airbands

Maurice Ritchie of Hamilton, Queensland writes regarding his experience while crewing a Fokker F27 freighter aircraft into Sydney one evening. A female approach controller was on the work face and called the aircraft:

APPROACH: ‘Charlie Alpha Romeo, Sydney Approach, we have problems with an aircraft in the circuit. As a result, we’ll have to hold you in the Manly area for a while. ‘

(QUICK REPLY FROM F27 CAPTAIN): ‘Oh Approach . . . I just love it when you say naughty things to us!’

I’d venture to say the skipper had been waiting for some time for an opportunity like that one! The lady apparently enjoyed the joke too.

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While on the subject of F27’s, a regular Queensland contributor tells me that he heard an airman conversing on company frequency to the company at Coolangatta with a slightly mixed-up message causing puzzled looks. The puzzled looks were on my correspondent’s face and no doubt his company operations people reacted the same way. Here is the R/T:

AIRCRAFT: ‘Southern Cross Coolangatta, this is Alpha Charlie Foxtrot, we’ll be on the ground in 15 minutes, The aircraft is OK and we have six thousand passengers, with a burn of thirty-five hundred!’

We both think he may have meant the fuel figure, not the PAX load!

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The same contributor also advises that near to Coolangatta an aircraft was carrying out parachute operations. ATC was speaking to the aircraft but was having some difficulty understanding replies from the aircraft.

The controller finally blurted out . . . ‘Juliet Mike Papa, I couldn’t hear that due to the continuous screaming of that first-timer in the background!’

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An air traffic controller at Canberra Airport relates the story of the day the giant USAF C-5A Galaxy arrived at Fairbairn transporting RAAF personnel, helicopters and support equipment of the peace keeping force in the Sinai. Such an aircraft hadn’t graced the runways at Canberra for a decade or more, so it attracted a lot of community interest. A road passing beneath the approach path to RW35 was lined with cars and budding photographers.

After a smooth, uneventful approach and landing, the road traffic quickly dispersed, just as a Department of Aviation Fokker F28 jet made a missed approach. To greet the Australian personnel, a welcoming party had apparently been formed consisting of persons in desert attire, complete with camels. Imagine the aerodrome controllers dismay when two of the aforementioned dromedaries were seen striding clumsily across the RAAF apron, seemingly out of control and bound for his active runway! Enter onto the scene the F28 jet, which was, at this time, approaching short final. The resultant go-round instruction allegedly included information not yet etched in aviation procedure, such as . . . ‘runway occupied, two camels crossing right to left!’

The humpers were last seen literally heading west!

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One of the casualties of the US air traffic controllers strike and mass sackings was correct voice procedures, one incident depicting this was told to me by G Davey of Cherrybrook, NSW.

It was a 40-degree celsius scorcher at Washington National. United 41, a heavily laden early model Boeing 727, was cleared for a right-turn departure with noise abatement over the Capitol. When the pilot held the aircraft for a few seconds while power built up, the controller, complete with a southern drawl, called out . . . ‘United 41, Go! Go! Go! and don’t you all forget to noise abate!’

After struggling for altitude in the hot still air over Washington without reducing thrust even for a fraction of a second for noise abatement, the pilot called the Tower. He said in a measured and educated voice . . . ‘United 41, off at three five. Now Tower, come back to me with everything you said after Go, go, go?’

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Mr Davey offers another piece which occurred on a flight from Palm Springs to Las Vegas in a Cessna Conquest, registered something like N141NS.

The pilot called Las Vegas Approach as he began his descent. ‘Las Vegas, 141 November Sierra is with you, overhead Hoover Dam, leaving 15,000 for 12. ‘

The controller sounded hassled when he replied. ‘Hold it right there 41 November, there’s a biggie comin’ up under ya!’

The perplexed pilot asked . . . ‘Do you want me to stop the aeroplane right here?’

A new voice from the Tower replied . . . ‘141 November Sierra, maintain 15,000 and make a right orbit, five minutes. Traffic is a departing heavy and . . . err . . . we’re training some new folks down here. Get it?’

Sure do. Makes you glad you fly in the ‘country cow pasture’ atmosphere of Australia doesn’t it?’

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A few notes from my trip last year to the United States regarding ATC monitoring at Las Vegas  McCarrin International (Las Vegas) ATIS is on 116. 9. The field is very busy night and day with the southern approach on 125. 9, western on 133. 95 and all other approach traffic on 119. 4. Tower is also monitored on 119. 4, with ground control on 122. 3. Apron clearance delivery (ACD) on 118. 0 and Center (control) on 127. 15. Morse ident on the ATIS was ‘LAS’. Most active runways seem to be RW25 and RW19.

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If you’d like to contribute to ‘On the Airbands’, write to me at 68 Ashby Avenue, Yagoona 2199. You will be credited if you wish, just indicate what you require and we will comply. Names of airlines and registrations in this country will be changed to avoid embarrassment. Until next time, good monitoring.