On The Airbands

On every occasion I see Air Niugini’s P2-ANG, I appreciate the incredible paint scheme on the A300 more and more. The giant ‘Bird of Paradise’ is displayed on this aircraft courtesy of a leasing arrangement between TAA and Air Niugini, the aircraft at one time being heard as Tango Alpha Alpha’ on domestic duty here. It’s also seen service with Condor in Germany, again on a lease from TAA. Mel Evans and Gary Stanford of TAA, backed up by a superb Paint Shop crew, are responsible for this amazing eye-catching livery on the Air Niugini Airbus.

An Air Traffic Controller at Sydney International Airport, who prefers to remain anonymous, contributed two very amusing incidents to kick off our letters this issue.

A B747 had been waiting at the holding bay for approximately 45 minutes. After the Captain of the 747 could take no more excuses for further delay, he roared over the radio that if he didn’t receive immediate takeoff clearance, he would have to return to the fuelling bay and take on additional fuel!”

A nine-seater commuter aircraft had arrived at Sydney two minutes ahead of its forecast ETA, but had still been given direct straight-in landing instructions by ATC. As a result, a 8727 aircraft had been instructed to go around and one very irate 8727 skipper said. . . ‘Do you people realise that a go-around costs one hundred dollars?” The reply from the Tower ATC man was. . . ‘Yes sir, make that a one hundred dollar right-hand turn!

We love to hear from the people who work in Air Traffic Control. I sincerely hope that a few more ATC staff will contribute. For any person wishing to write to me, it’s speedier to write direct, to . . . Robert Bell, 68 Ashby Avenue, Yagoona, 2199. All identifiable ingredients will be removed from the story for publication, and credit will be given to you as the supplier of the story if you so desire. If you don’t so desire, we will most certainly respect those wishes.

Ted Fletcher of Woodlands in Western Australia writes to tell of a 8727 skipper en route to Perth, which was fog-bound, one evening. The skipper wouldn’t cooperate with controllers, who had advised that he should either hold, short of the airport or proceed direct to an alternate. . . Meekatharra. But the skipper was decidedly omery. HE wanted to make an approach. Perth Radar however weren’t playing! 800 metres RVR (runway visual range) is required for an approach at Perth and actual RVR was only 300 metres at the time. The conversation went something like this: 727: ‘Can we make an approach to runway four?” RADAR: ‘Negative. . . RVR is 300 metres’ 727: ‘OK. . . We’ll hold. But we’d like a 20-mile extension of the orbit to the north’ RADAR: ‘Approved” 727: What about the other runway?” RADAR: ‘It’s the same. . . about 300 metres RVR’ 727: ‘Have you got someone at the end of the runway counting the lights?” RADAR: ‘Affirmative. . . it’s still 300 metres RVR!’ 727: “But what about the other runway, not two-four it looks clear from where we are?’ RADAR: ‘No, I’m sorry we’ve had a man out there all night, RVR is only 300 metres; we can’t even think about an approach request under 800 metres!” 5 Minutes Later. . .

727: ‘How’s the situation now?” RADAR: “Sorry. . . still 300 metres. We have another aircraft holding here as well as yours. He also can’t make an approach. ” 727: ‘Is HE “Category One” rated?” RADAR: ‘No, but even if he was, he still couldn’t land. . . we need 800 metres, and we only have 300 metres’ 4 Minutes Later. . .

RADAR: ‘Romeo Papa Tango, hold in the runway two-zero pattern now’ 727: ‘Negative. . . negative, a direct track to Meekatharra thanks. You’ve mucked. . er, pushed us around too much! Request flight level 3-5-zero’ RADAR: ‘Romeo Papa Tango, climb to flight level 3-5-zero, track directly to Meekatharra’ Just imagine the B727 skipper’s exploding wrath when Perth opened for business with 800 metres RVR just ten minutes later! Once again, thanks to Ted Fletcher for this gem.

One wet late evening in Sydney, on Oceanic HF frequency 8867 Khz, manned by Flight Service Officers. . . .

A/C ‘Sydney Radio. . Sydney Radio, this is Australian four-four, radio check on eight-eight’ SYDNEY: ‘Australian four-four, this is Sydney, reading you fours’ A/C: ‘Yes. . Australian four-four, we’ll check the number-two HF set too thanks Sydney’ One Minute Later. . .

A/C: ‘Sydney Sydney, Australian four-four on 8867, second set SYDNEY: ‘Australian four-four, reading you fours also on your number two set. Are you on the ground at Sydney? A/C: “Ahhh. . . no, er, we’re in Melbourne actually. See you in the air!” Thanks to Godrey Wenness for that contribution. Godrey lives at Grose Vale, NSW.

Gregory Thom, of Thornbury, Victoria, advises that the ARDU C-47’s at one stage used the call ‘Calibrator’, which was abbreviated to ‘CAL’, and related to military navaid checking missions. For example, ‘CAL ONE’. If anyone monitors ‘CAL callsigns, this is who they belong to and what they’re about. Gregory also states that he monitored an amusing incident involving the pilot of a Cessna 172, who was obviously a new arrival to this country, as well as being a new arrival to the control zone in Melbourne airspace. He was experiencing some difficulty in understanding ATC instructions and navigating his way out of Essendon airspace. After having to repeat themselves numerous times, controllers on 125. 1 conveyed to the pilot an instruction to report at ‘Westgate Bridge, at 1-5-zero-zero’. Now, Westgate Bridge is a huge landmark near the Bay and a standard reporting point for VFR aircraft entering and departing Essendon. The pilot advised in turn that he was ‘unsure of the position of Westgate Bridge’, even though he was in fact only three miles from it in CAVOK conditions. In final frustration, the Tower said. . . ‘if you look out the pilot’s side window, just to the right of the city, you’ll see a B-I-G bridge! That’s Westgate Bridge. Track to. . . and report at. . . Westgate Bridge at one-five-zero-zero. Gregory Thom was floored. So was I when I heard it first!

Peter Gammie, from Cleveland, Queensland, a regular writer to ‘On the Airbands’, says that recently he heard an overseas 747 skipper fall victim to the new airport facilities at Brisbane. APPROACH: ‘Silverbird zero-niner, are you visual? B747: ‘Affirmative sir, runway in sight’ APPROACH: ‘Roger, make a visual approach, straight-in, run-way 22, report established on the VASI’ B747: ‘Roger’ 30 Seconds Later APPROACH: “Silverbird zero-niner, are you aware of the new airport works?’ (the aircraft appeared to have gone through ‘finals’) B747: ‘Errr. . . ahh, yes, I’m afraid we fell for it. . . whoops, s-o-r-r-y!. The pilot then executed a go-round and joined in for a normal approach, save for the heaps of egg splattered on his face!

Our friend David Gerber, from East Lindfield NSW contributes this amusing offering, which is a tale of security precautions gone wrong, wires crossed and tempers flared, but with a happy end- ing! (Happy endings are unusual these days when security misses a beat!) The scene was Frankfurt Airport, West Germany. February. 1985. The boarding lounge. A call was made to board a flight to Innsbruck, Austria, on a regional carrier. It was announced that as is often the case at Frankfurt, passengers would be bussed out to the aircraft, where they would identify their luggage before boarding. David and the others all trooped onto the bus and arrived at the aircraft, which was being watched over by a sprinkling of armed soldiers and security men, all looking very earnest and ferocious. But there was not a suitcase in sight! While this situation produced some very worried looks and comments from the passengers, it did not phase the employee of the host airline in Frankfurt in the slightest! SHE directed the passengers all towards the steps of the aircraft to board. Several people asked her where the luggage was and these questions were met with that practised look of arrogance that airline employees the world over have mastered! The obvious answer to HER was that the luggage was on board already. . . where else could it be? Most of the passengers accepted this, but one fellow, of Germanic origin, insisted that the passengers had been told that the luggage was to be identified and why has it been loaded.

While the eyes of the furious girl glazed over, he demanded (this time of the soldiers) to identify the luggage. Thereafter ensued a terrific argument between the girl, the soldiers, the baggage handlers, and finally the hapless crew of the aircraft, as to ‘why the luggage was loaded, why it wasn’t to be searched, who said anyway that it had to be searched, and did they all have to stand out there in the cold and fight?” These last sentiments were echoed by a chorus of passengers!! Gilbert and Sullivan at its best! Eventually, the guys with the guns won and the luggage was unloaded, while the passenger who started the whole thing beamed self-righteously. As each item of baggage was identified, it was dutifully re-loaded. And fifty rather frozen passengers eventually boarded the aeroplane, which without further ado, and with the blessings of the security-conscious passenger, departed. As I must now.

Good monitoring. (Write to me with your story!)